My Not-So-Long Weekend

I’m bummed the long weekend is almost over. It will be back to reality once again tomorrow, which would mean having to wake up early and go home late every week. If there’s any consolation to this though, it would be the weather. It has been raining the whole day and the forecast says it’s going to be so for the next couple of days. I don’t know why but I love rainy days (not the typhoon kind though). Every time it rains, I feel more energized. I am more ganado in doing my tasks.

The long weekend was a major stress reliever. Not that I am stressed with work or anything like that. Well come to think of it, being in the same routine can be stressful at times. But I don’t think I should be complaining about it. So I won’t. Anyway the whole weekend was spent just doing errands for myself, mostly things that badly needs to be done but haven’t been done due to lack of time; such as going shopping with my sisters, going cloth hunting to add to my work clothes, going to the hair salon to have my overgrown hair trimmed, having my regular nail and foot spa which haven’t been all that regular anymore, going to the seamstress which has been neglected and long overdue, and etc. I haven’t gotten around to watching the piling DVDs and VCDs that I have initially planned on watching over the weekend yet though. If only the long holiday could be extended until tomorrow…

Overall it was a good long weekend though, except for the lost earring. I accidentally lost a silver hoop earring while shopping. I felt so bad not only because I knew I was in for a major scolding from my mom, but also because it was public property. (My sisters and I share the earrings.) I’m thinking either I forgot to clasp it on to its hook properly or it was just plain loose already. This is the second time that I’ve lost something that’s considerably of value. The first one was also losing an earring while swimming in the beach. So counting it, I’ve actually now lost a pair. I just hope this is going to be the last time already.

Turning on the alarm clock...

My sister just reminded me today how lucky I am to be able to enjoy the finer things in life, which I shamefully admit I often take for granted. Coming back from her immersion, she could not have reiterated more how real (and harsh) reality is. If I am to be precise about it, it’s how majority of the population are living below the poverty line.

What touched me even more was hearing my sister talk about how her host family was so gracious to them. Despite having a tight budget, her host family took great lengths to keep them full and satisfied. The couple they stayed with made sure they were well-fed and comfortable. If there were any difference in the social statuses of each one (which normally is made so distinctly clear in this society of ours), it was neither felt nor seen at all. The lines were all blurred. My sister actually felt she was a part of the family.

It’s a heartwarming feeling to see them spending a little over their budget just to make dinner extra special (note: caldereta, pusit, melon juice) for you. It’s also a heartwarming feeling to see them fussing over you making sure all the electric fans are turned on. An extra dish of caldereta or melon juice may mean nothing to us since we’re used to having anything we want but for these people, it’s a big thing. It’s already an extravagance for them which really is “nakakataba ng puso” to see them sharing it so willingly to you.

It’s just ironic (and sad I must say) to see how these people have so much to give despite having so little while some of their counterparts despite having excesses barely give out anything at all.

You could call it fate.

It’s disappointing to know you cannot always get what you want. And it’s equally disappointing to know you cannot make things happen exactly according to your plan. I’ve resigned to the fact that no matter how hard you try trying, if it’s not meant to be then it probably will never be. Call it fate or whatever. But that’s just the way it is. There are some things that are beyond our control. We can’t do anything about it but to accept and learn how to face the music.

And so I ask. Is accepting all we really have to do? If this is so then what happens with the ‘never say die’ attitude that have been instilled into our minds ever since we were kids? We can't give up just like that.

I don’t know but I’m slowly succumbing to the “if it’s meant to be then it will surely happen” mantra. I refuse to see it as being apathetic or indifferent. If it’s not meant to be, why force it right? This mentality actually gives me a sense of freedom. I am able to free myself from the heavy burden of trying to ‘make things happen’ all the time. I don’t feel the sense of urgency anymore to do this or do that just because it’s supposed to bring me happiness, success, love or whatever.

However there are times when this mantra of mine fails me. Most often than not it leaves me wondering if I should have gone the extra mile and exerted some effort instead of leaving it entirely to just fate alone. I’ve discovered on many instances that due to lack of action on my part, there are a lot of missed opportunities. There are a lot of what-could-have-been scenarios which I could have acted upon but didn’t. This always leaves me wondering if I should have indeed done something about it. But like they say, it takes two to boogie (tango isn’t as fun…) in every situation. So I guess I should blame the other person or party involved for not doing anything as well. Or perhaps there’s no one to blame; maybe they had the same mantra going on for them too.

Twenty Three

23 seem to be a good number…not too young to be treated like a kid but still not too old to have lots of fun. My friend says the ages 23-24 are supposed to be the “prime” years of one’s life. I have just turned 23 and everything has pretty much stayed the same. But then I would also have to consider the fact that it’s been just 48 hours since I crossed the “prime years” bracket. Allow me some more time then maybe I’d find my own niche or whatever you'd like to call it.

Since 23 is supposed to be a good number, I decided to celebrate it with a double bang. First bang was dinner at Red with my family and Amma. I must say Red tops my list when it comes to ambiance. The place is so elegantly chic that it makes you feel hip as well. Hehe The food didn’t taste bad either, with generous portions considering most restaurants of its kind usually have small servings. Second bang was organizing a BBQ cookout together with Candice the day after, which was just last night. We had our friends over for a one happy dinner. I think it was a good cookout, a little stressful though since we had to make sure everything was fine. As a result, I wasn't able to eat anything at all. But it's okay. I didn't mind being the host for just that one night. I'm happy people made the effort to come. After all it isn't easy to organize and prepare for a party. The whole thing actually went quite well. There were a lot of leftovers though, which means that I would have to eat hamburgers, hotdogs, and bbq for the next couple of weeks. Hehe

In Red with Ma, Amma, and Candice

Candice and Me with our cake

Backyard Cookout

Kim, Amy, Raf, Me, Nik, Javi

The Real Deal

My life is good because I’ve been accepting a lot of things, both good and bad. It’s a welcoming change for me. I don’t know, but there’s a certain calmness within me. Though it takes a lot of getting used to since I’m constantly worrying. Now that my mind is pretty much devoid of the extra baggage a.k.a. unnecessary worries, I have more time to just lay back and enjoy.

I am slowly learning the real deal when it comes to life in general. During the past few days, I've realized that...

it’s not about rushing and pushing. But about letting nature take its own course.

it's not about seeing with your own two eyes. But about having faith and believing with your heart even with eyes closed.

it’s neither about the majority nor is it about accepting the given. But about listening to what you truly want.

it's not about the one BIG thing. It is actually the small things that add everything up.

it’s not about ‘having to’. But about sincerely ‘wanting to’ from the bottom of your heart.

it’s not about living on fixed plans. But about thriving on spontaneity; leaving everything out in the open.

it’s not about the numbers and stats. But about what really counts the most, all or nothing.

it’s not about holding on to every little thing. But about dropping everything, including yourself if necessary.

it's not all about them. It's about you...it's not up to them. It's up to you.

Movies Galore

I stayed over at Astoria with some of my friends last night. It was a one fun girl bonding night. We hung out and stayed up late spending the night catching up on one another’s ‘happenings’. Fortunately (or should I say unfortunately?) nobody got drunk. It has always been one helluva laugh trip when one of us would get drunk and would act silly. I could still remember this instance when Shar was so drunk she got a box of KFC chicken and placed it on top of the lamp in an attempt to heat it. It was really funny. Amy on the other hand would laugh a lot when she would get tipsy and it would get us to laughing along with her as well. It’s all good though.

I think I’m becoming a certified movie freak. Yesterday we watched The Forgotten which wasn't as good as we expect it to be. Then today my sisters and I had a semi-movie marathon. We caught the special screening of The Incredibles at Greenbelt after a hearty breakfast at McDonald’s. The movie was a bit too long, but nevertheless it was a fun movie to watch. The baby was cute. I liked the characters of Dash and Violet. Then after having lunch with relatives at Chateau, my sisters and I went to Powerplant to watch First Daughter. Nothing new, just the usual romantic flick…reminds me of Chasing Liberty. But just the same, the movie wasn’t all that bad since I’ve always enjoyed watching feel good movies. I don’t know…it just makes you feel light and warm afterwards. If only it happens in real life too. Hehe